What's at the center of my life?

God or Unforgiveness?

My life might be revolving around unforgiveness if i......

-Pull the plug on friends when they hurt me, even if they apologize.
-Obsess over bad things that people have done to me.
-Avoid people I'm mad at.
-Feel intense anger about things in my past.
-Want people to pay for what they have done to me.
-Sometimes want to hurt myself to make the pain others have caused go away.
-Secretly want bad things to happen to certain people.
-Am afraid that if I forgive people, I'm saying that what they did to me was OK.
-Sometimes try to cover up the pain with food, watching movie, scold at others, etc.


It hard, Lord. I have done most of the points above, and still doing it. It really hard, help me Jesus. I am scare I will loose my good friends. Bitterness is like taking little doses of poison, over time it will steal my life away. God wants me to experience the freedom and peace of forgiveness. I still remember what Pastor Cheli preach about having war with the devil on Saturday Alpha night. Now we are in spiritual war right now. We shud go against the evil spirit, not fighting among brothers and sisters in Christ. This is wat the devil wan us to do! Help me Jesus!

This is the verse I shud meditated on: "Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ" (Ephesians 4:31-32). It really hard for me cos Emo rules over me. I shud be strong in God, please pray for me to have a heart of forgiveness! Yes i shud always keep telling myself, never give up! God is with me!

2 comments:

Delia said...

haha.. here to tel u i've tagged u. Do a chat box la.. easier.. =P

Barnabas said...

hehe thanks ya. But i am still new to this Blog thingy. Teach me how!!!!