During August 2007, I moved from Sibu to Kuching after I completed my Diploma in Accounting. At first, I was really excited because I was going to Swinburne University and things went pretty well until the class started. The uni was a lot bigger than what I was used to be in college, and every day I would sit in the library by myself, doing homework or stay at my hostel room. I knew that it would take time before I was able to make good friends, but I didnt think it would be this hard. My self-esteem began to suffer, and I couldnt even make myself try out for dance, one of my big loves.
Before the move, I considered myself a pretty strong Christian. I had even prayed a few months before that God would prepare friends for me. Now since it wasnt happening as quickly as I had hoped, I figured he wasnt answering my prayers. I felt so alone and like God let me down, and I wondered why everything was so bad for me. I still went through the motions of going to church and doing what I was supposed to do, but I slowly started hardening my heart toward God and stop going to church.
On the July 2008 when I come back from Sibu, I had join this bible school. Actually I was ask to join this by my church pastor and had this opportunity to know those who join the course. Yesterday as I had my devotion, I read one of the author story and she mention this verse. It was 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.' So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me."
Wow, it was so powerful! Looking back over the year, I could see things in a new light. I had been mad at God for the hard times, but this verse told me that I should be rejoicing because of them. I may have been weak, but his power living in me through my weakness was better than having all the friends in the world! Today is 21 of June 2009, another 9 days more and it will be July. It's be one year.......
Now I am 23, I was being informed recently that this is the truth. I look back and see God's hand on me the whole time. Yesterday and today, 2 of my good friends left. I have been thinking quite a while. He continued to give me more and more friends, and I could see that by waiting and gaining these friends later, they were truer friends. Friendships made too hastily might have gotten me into trouble.
Occasionally, I still feel like I dont fit in, worry what is going to be in future, am I going to leave Kuching one day, etc. Still no matter what, I am so glad God helped me wait to have friends that truly care for me. I should keep reminding myself there are more important things for me to spend my energy instead of worrying about these small things. Never give up ^.^
Photos of 2008
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:)
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